I was speaking on Sunday at G2 about Jesus' command of 'do not worry- seek first the kingdom of God'. I reckon I'm a much better writer than nautural public speaker- and so my speaking largely comes out of something I've written carefully and deliberately. I rarely go off piste when I'm speaking on a topic. But as I prepared in the hour before the meeting, I felt really strongly that I should fit something in that I hadn't planned to say at all. So midway through speaking, I casually slipped in:
"You do not have to be anything , you do not have to do anything- do you know that?"
You could have easily missed it. And in fact, most people probably didn't think about the significance of that question. But I could talk for hours about that alone. Tonight, as I lay in the bath reading (it is the place of most creative and spiritual revelations) I was struck again by the potency of this. The book I was reading about leadership, claims that our development, our leadership, is down primarily to what we put into it. Self leadership is one of the biggest skills a leader needs to learn. But we have the tendancy to blame everyone else for our lack of success or movement in life; circumstances, lack of input, negativity, opposition, people. But at the end of the day, the responsibility for what you get from today lies solely with yourself.
I am reminded of a very famous scene that Sartre paints in 'Being and Nothingness' of a waiter who plays the part of a waiter perfectly. He is a little too eager, his smile perfect, he moves around the restaurant effortlessly; he has become in his own mind: 'a waiter'. Sartre accuses the waiter of living in 'bad faith'; he denies his own freedom and his own existence by reducing himself only to a 'waiter' as if it were an object; as if he were only a waiter as a rock is a rock. The truth of his existence and his consciousness cannot be reduced to this at all. The human condition lies much deeper than that of rocks and chairs. The waiter denies his fundemental freedom to exist, to be conscious.
And it's true in my own life as I stop and look back. For the past 2 months, I have become a little bitter and fustrated with certain things, I have become a little lacking in passion. And I have blamed the lack of a holiday or any time off, I have blamed a lack of time, a lack of input, too many hours at work, too much to do. I'm sure all of these factors have contributed to my situation. But the truth of the matter is that I have been living in bad faith; denying my own responsibility in my life. I have reduced my self and become an object influenced by causes and effects. It is to deny a fundemental truth about myself. It is time to face myself as responsible for the content and state of my own life.
How about you?
Do you know that we choose what we have? Always. We choose the life that we adhere to? Always. I can often be so fustrated even by my personal morality restricting what I can and can't do. But the truth of the matter is; I am free, I choose. I choose my actions, I choose to adhere to a system of ethics. I choose to get up and go to work instead of lying in and lying about it. I choose to approach my relationships the way I do, as fustrating as it can be. I choose to hardly ever have a day off. I choose be lazy, I choose my state of being. I choose my bitterness and lack of passion.
You don't have to go to work tomorrow, you don't have to stay in your marriage, you don't have to diet, you don't have to go running, you don't have to finish your degree or hand in that essay on Friday. You don't have to adhere to a system of morality. If you wanted to, you could sell all your stuff and move to Kenya tomorrow. You choose. Always.
That is not to say that those things go without consequence or influence, but ultimately you choose. And it is not to say that sometimes choices are restriced, and sometimes difficult. But the more you recognise that you always have a choice, the more you realise that only you are responsible for where you are, what you do, and what you make of life.
Tomorrow, you'll probably choose to get out of bed; what will you make of it?
"You do not have to be anything , you do not have to do anything- do you know that?"
You could have easily missed it. And in fact, most people probably didn't think about the significance of that question. But I could talk for hours about that alone. Tonight, as I lay in the bath reading (it is the place of most creative and spiritual revelations) I was struck again by the potency of this. The book I was reading about leadership, claims that our development, our leadership, is down primarily to what we put into it. Self leadership is one of the biggest skills a leader needs to learn. But we have the tendancy to blame everyone else for our lack of success or movement in life; circumstances, lack of input, negativity, opposition, people. But at the end of the day, the responsibility for what you get from today lies solely with yourself.
I am reminded of a very famous scene that Sartre paints in 'Being and Nothingness' of a waiter who plays the part of a waiter perfectly. He is a little too eager, his smile perfect, he moves around the restaurant effortlessly; he has become in his own mind: 'a waiter'. Sartre accuses the waiter of living in 'bad faith'; he denies his own freedom and his own existence by reducing himself only to a 'waiter' as if it were an object; as if he were only a waiter as a rock is a rock. The truth of his existence and his consciousness cannot be reduced to this at all. The human condition lies much deeper than that of rocks and chairs. The waiter denies his fundemental freedom to exist, to be conscious.
And it's true in my own life as I stop and look back. For the past 2 months, I have become a little bitter and fustrated with certain things, I have become a little lacking in passion. And I have blamed the lack of a holiday or any time off, I have blamed a lack of time, a lack of input, too many hours at work, too much to do. I'm sure all of these factors have contributed to my situation. But the truth of the matter is that I have been living in bad faith; denying my own responsibility in my life. I have reduced my self and become an object influenced by causes and effects. It is to deny a fundemental truth about myself. It is time to face myself as responsible for the content and state of my own life.
How about you?
Do you know that we choose what we have? Always. We choose the life that we adhere to? Always. I can often be so fustrated even by my personal morality restricting what I can and can't do. But the truth of the matter is; I am free, I choose. I choose my actions, I choose to adhere to a system of ethics. I choose to get up and go to work instead of lying in and lying about it. I choose to approach my relationships the way I do, as fustrating as it can be. I choose to hardly ever have a day off. I choose be lazy, I choose my state of being. I choose my bitterness and lack of passion.
You don't have to go to work tomorrow, you don't have to stay in your marriage, you don't have to diet, you don't have to go running, you don't have to finish your degree or hand in that essay on Friday. You don't have to adhere to a system of morality. If you wanted to, you could sell all your stuff and move to Kenya tomorrow. You choose. Always.
That is not to say that those things go without consequence or influence, but ultimately you choose. And it is not to say that sometimes choices are restriced, and sometimes difficult. But the more you recognise that you always have a choice, the more you realise that only you are responsible for where you are, what you do, and what you make of life.
Tomorrow, you'll probably choose to get out of bed; what will you make of it?
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