I Can't Turn You Loose

I don't know how you perceive Christianity. You might be vehemently opposed to the very thought of it, you might think of it as a useful worldview to learn from and apply to your life. You might accept its claims wholeheartedly or you might be sceptical of the very concept of  God at all. Whatever you say about it, it seems to be something which the world cannot be rid of easily. Despite widespread secularization in the West, I've only ever belonged to Churches that have been growing in number, seeing people changed and challenged by the concept of faith. There is a common opinion presented by the media and by Dawkins and co. that Christianity is a dying superstition that is based on incoherent premises. It doesn't seem to have much effect. Christianity is pretty stubborn. It is pretty ingrained.

On a worldwide scale, Christianity is definitely thriving in Asia and Africa. Seoul, the capital of South Korea reportedly contains 11 of the world's 12 biggest Christian Churches. Despite widespread persecution and scientific 'enlightenment', faith does not just lie down and give up. 

On a personal level, Christianity is something which refuses to die in my life. Despite three years of  studying Philosophy and intense periods of doubt and scepticism, there is something resilient about the Christian belief that no amount of scrutiny seems to be able to destroy. Call it indoctrination if you like, wishful thinking, naivety, stubbornness, but it would take something remarkable to debunk the foundation of faith from my life.

The reason for this, I reckon, is to do with the very nature of faith. Faith is not belief in a set of propositions, but rather a commitment, a 'leap' beyond that. Faith must be lived. The difference between my faith and the countless theories, concepts and ideas I have studied is that faith leaves the classroom, it leaves the books- it can only be realized lived. In his Easter sermon this year, Rowan Williams said the following: 

"We learn and assimilate its truth [the resurrection] by the risk of living it; to those on the edge of it, looking respectfully and wistfully at what it might offer, we can only say, 'you'll learn nothing more by looking; at some point you have to decide whether you want to try to live with it and in it."

Clear and rational arguments will never get you to the point of belief, they will never coerce you into anything. The reason for this is that faith is something lived, not something thought. It is an action. The resurrection of Christ and the New Testament leaves you with binary options- you're either in, or you're out. You're either following the Christ, or you're not.

You might find it fascinating, you might find the teaching of Jesus useful and applicable. You might rank the Bible up there with other great works of moral and religious teaching. But I sincerely believe that it requires more than this. The very essence of faith is that it requires a leap.

This leap is a constant striving; a constant and life long tension- it is the risk of living it. It is the risk of going beyond mere thinking. From the outside it probably appears foolish and irrational, but this doesn't surprise me at all. I don't think Christianity is going anywhere, precisely because I think that when lived, it holds the keys to true life. I can testify to this personally and in lives of many of those closest to me. But it must be lived, belief is not enough.

Sun it Rises

"Meaningless! Meaningless!... Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless."

Sometimes good people die. Sometimes evil people prosper. Work is hard, painful things happen. People sometimes get what they deserve. Sometimes they don't. The sun rises, the sun sets. Life goes on.

There is nothing quite like a good meal, or a couple of pints. There is nothing quite like being in love. There is nothing like working hard for something and then achieving it. The sun rises, the sun sets. Life goes on. People are forgotten, memories are lost. Everything is meaningless.

Sometimes we take ten steps forward. Sometimes we get knocked twenty back. Some people die lonely, some people surround themselves with riches and are still not fulfilled. Some people are born in poverty and live in poverty and die in poverty. Some people are forgotten. The sun rises, the sun sets. Life goes on. Everything is meaningless.

There will be always be more knowledge, it will always be unattainable. You can study your whole life and still be discontent. Wisdom is valuable, but difficult. No one truly knows the future. No one knows how many children you will have, how happy you will be.  No one knows how many years you have left. The sun rises, the sun sets. Life goes on. Everything is meaningless.

There will always be poverty. There will always be hypocrisy in religion. There will always be ignorance. There will always be selfishness and greed. There will always be those who strive for something beyond themselves. All came from stuff. All are heading back that way. There is nothing new under the sun. The sun rises, the sun sets. Life goes on. Everything is meaningless.

Life is good when you're young. I read lots of books. Listen to music. I have hardly any responsibilities or ties. I am in love. I drink good beer, I eat good food. Bad days will inevitably happen. Difficult times no doubt lie ahead. I will seek after God with all of my life. I will pray to him, worship him, live a live focused on him. The sun rises, the sun sets. Life goes on. Everything is meaningless.

So what next? What can we do in face of such meaninglessness?

"here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgement, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil." 

The sun rises, the sun sets. Life goes on. Everything is meaningless. It is in these words that I find truth, and then hope.