The Sound of Silence

The expression 'personal relationship with God' is one I hear often. And it is a good challenge to those who see God as a far off deity that made the world and left, or for those who want nothing to do with God at all. God is personally interested in humanity, and in you.

 The downside of this expression, I have found in my own life, is that it has a tendency to remove the reverence I might, and should, have for God. And if the God I worship does indeed exist, he deserves utter reverence; he has the power and right to sweep the carpet from underneath the feet of the universe whenever he so chooses. He has in his control the destiny of every living thing, he exists eternally and beyond anything we can comprehend. Our response to this must be one of trepidation and awe.

Somehow, "God" has become second hand for "personal assistant". I have found in my own life a tendency to make it all about my 'personal relationship with God'. I am so desperate to know what it is God wants me to do with my life, I am so desperate to seek spiritual discipline. I seek God's will in my life for direction and forgiveness, for comfort, for peace. I chat away about my own life so freely to God. But it is generally about me. It is a relationship and a faith centred around what I might gain- where I might go next; which career will be fulfilling, which wife I might enjoy the most, which Church I might be most respected in. If I'm honest, I use 'God' to serve my own needs often.

Jesus says: "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." 

Should I seek God's will for my life? I should seek first his kingdom. Should I sell all my possessions and go serve the poor? I should seek first his kingdom. Should I seek to be spiritual disciplined? I should seek first his kingdom. Should I apply for this job? Should I marry this girl? Should I go on this conference? Should I go into Church leadership? I should seek first his kingdom. This statement is a conversation stopper for any question I might ask. I should seek first the kingdom of God. Whatever the question is- that is the answer.

Kierkegaard suggests that the response to this is silence. Silence before God; utter reverence of the one who created everything. It seems to me an apt response to the kingdom of God. His glory surely silences and puts into perspective whatever it is that is keeping us up at night. When we seek first the kingdom of God, the worries of this world surely fade into nothingness, like staring at an endless sky of glittering stars which go on for billions and trillions of miles. How absurd does my life and worries start to look when I stare into the kingdom of God?

God is not my personal assistant. He is not a disposable item I use to assist my short time on planet earth, an interest I take up to make my life more manageable and fulfilling. I want 2012 to be a year when I can say with confidence that I am seeking first his kingdom. I want to be able to say I sought God in silence, with reverence and that I was a part of something bigger, something gloriously eternal.

 2012 is crying out for people who are prepared to break the spirit of individualism; in our culture, in our Church, in our world. What would it look like if we sought after the kingdom of God first, and left our own desires and will behind for 2012? What would it look like for the answer to every question I might ask to be- "Seek first the kingdom of God".

Don't neglect the personal, deep and intimate nature of God this year. It is life changing and life giving. Don't stop praying about every worry you might have. I am not claiming we ought to leave behind 'personal relationship with God', but rather that we get a bit of perspective on it. It is for his sake, not for yours. It is for his sake that you are changed, it is for the kingdom of God, not for the kingdom of Josh. 

Basic Space

Sometimes we are in danger of forgetting that the claim "there exists a God" is an extraordinary claim. Especially when we get bogged down in mundaneness of every day life, and every day Christendom we forget how amazing the existence of anything at all really is. 

If you look on my facebook page, and the facebook page of many of my close friends you will see under the tab- 'religion' is the title 'Christian'. That word is very much a part of the fabric of this country and of the world. But the underlying truth statement of that set of beliefs is- there exists a God. There exists a being so unlike human beings that he exists eternally, he created the entire universe, he sees all, he knows all. He is unlike anything we can ever conceive or comprehend. That is a bold claim. 

Yet, somehow I seem to end up in a position of living in which Christianity, spiritual discipline, 'Church' has become mundane and at times lifeless. If I'm honest, it has been a while since I've felt sparked, passionate or fully engaged with the concept of God. But as I sat in a dark room, lying in a bath of luke warm water tonight, it suddenly dawned on me that what I believe, what I have faith in is utterly outrageous. But I believe that it is true. I believe there is something, some being that pre-existed this system, this universe that we now know. 

Somewhere along the line, I have lost my reverence for God. He has become a concept in a shoe-box, an ideology that improves human living that I reach for when I have my 'serious hat' on. But the core claim of Christianity, is not that there is a code of ethics, it's not that there is a way of life which can improve my living, it's not even that I can be saved for eternity- there is a statement that precedes all of that which is this- "God exists". When you strip away all of the teachings of Christ, all of the spiritual disciplines I strive for, when you strip away the Bible, the existence of human beings, the existence of the universe, we are left with God. A being, a power, a person. The question is- do I really believe that. Do I really believe in him, in his existence? 

I cannot begin to comprehend what that question really even means, but my answer is- yes. Yes, I believe there is something, when everything else is stripped away and I meditate on this fact, I am amazed at God. I am amazed that there exists anything at all. And I am so grateful that I have faith. Basic, simple, powerful faith. 

Tomorrow I will get up. And I will pray a prayer of sheer thankfulness, a prayer that I often pray when I don't know what else to say. "Thank you Lord that there is something rather than nothing. Amen". And I will take that prayer into my day, and revel in the simplicity of existence.