My 'shift' in thinking is summarized really poignantly by a song I've obsessively listened to since it was released. Occasionally you find a piece of music which speaks exactly where you are at, as if you'd written it yourself- the opening line of 'Helplessness Blues' by the Fleet foxes is:
"I was raised up believing, I was somehow unique like a snowflake distinct among snowflakes unique in each way you can see. And now after some thinking, I'd say I'd rather by a functioning cog in some great machinery serving something beyond me. "
I don't think that Robin Pecknold is singing about the majesty of God's rescue plan for humanity for a second. But for me it epitomizes something that's been running round my head for a while; what if our focus on my redemption from sin is at times an unhealthy one. Don't get me wrong, I'm not for a second saying that Jesus didn't die for me, that he didn't forgive my sin or that the gospel isn't about freedom from sin.
Let me put it this way. Suppose someone creates the most beautiful jigsaw puzzle that's ever been created. It's a unique work of art, carefully crafted; each piece individually molded and shaped to fit the other. Each piece carefully and intricately detailed, painted and beautifully glazed. Now suppose there's billions of pieces to this jigsaw, and each human being is allotted a piece of the jigsaw. I could marvel at the beauty of my piece in the jigsaw, how sublime it was, how detailed and how I am so blessed to receive it. I might even spend my time trying to tell those around me how beautiful their pieces were, and help them to see.
In my mind, if I only do this, I have the risk of missing the beauty of the jigsaw as a whole; my beautiful piece of jigsaw is tiny, you wouldn't even really notice if it was missing. And despite it's beauty, it just doesn't compare to the beauty of the whole jigsaw.
Maybe we have a tendency to do this with 'the gospel'. It is breathtaking that God loves me, Josh Cockayne, so much that he would die for my sins. But how much more breathtaking is the full picture than that? So much of the imagery in the New Testament is about the Church, about the restoration of Israel, about the Bride of Christ. At the end of the day, if I was missing from the Bride of Christ, it wouldn't look much different, it wouldn't be that much less beautiful. I'm humbled to be a cog, a speck, a jigsaw piece in the redemption of humanity.
At the end of the day, God came to rescue us not me. It's not that I'm denying that God cares for me, or that I matter to him, but rather that focusing on me and how great it is that I've been forgiven is dull compared to the majesty of God's saving plan for humanity.
The 'me centered' gospel not only misses something majestic, it also makes us incredibly blind in some ways. It becomes all about each individual, and creates a one-up-man-ship evangelism. I remember a guy I once met who tallied how many souls he'd saved in the front of his bible, like medals on an army uniform. At the end of the day, his work might be impressive, but compared to the body of Christ, it's pathetic. Although we never say it, there is sometimes an underlying competitiveness about Christianity, who can reach the most people, who can pray the best prayers, who can make the most profound point in cell group.
I wonder when I'll realize that it's not really about me. That God never intended to save 'Josh Cockayne'. I've heard people say that "if you were the only person on earth, Jesus would have still died for you". I'm not sure if that's actually true to be honest. The 'gospel' in its richness and its fullness is about humanity and not about humans. It's about the Bride and not about her dress, it's not about how good she's done her hair or how nice her shoes are. Whether you like it or not, we come as a whole, we come as a Church, and as a bride. We need to start thinking a bit more like one.
And at the end of the day, it's true, I would actually much rather be a functioning cog in some great machinery serving something beyond me.
